Diary Of Devotion
by Secretdoors97
Summary: Sigyn is never mentioned during the movie Thor. That doesn't mean she doesn't have her own thoughts and opinions as to what's going on. Especially with her husband, Loki. Sigyn's POV
1. Entry 1

Thor's coronation was this afternoon. Never have I seen Asgard in such a state of rejoice. Odin's eldest son was to be crowned king, and to everyone, it was a merry occasion. To everyone, of course, but my husband, Loki. As goddess of fidelity, especially to him, I've learned to live with my husband's constant annoyances and displeasures, one of which, I know happens to be second to his brother for the throne. Though he does well to hide it, but I know how he feels inside.

The throne room was alive with the cheers of happy Asgardians, clapping at shouting for their new king as he came marching up the aisle between the crowd, throwing his hammer, Mjölnir, in the air and catching it, grinning widely. I was happy for him, Thor has been a great friend to me over the years, though I will admit, he can be a bit stubborn at times. I suppose it is simply something one gets used to over time.

I glanced over at Loki, dressed in his helmet and armor. He stared blankly at his brother as he marched up to his father's throne. Loki was a difficult person to read at times, especially now. I knew this was causing him great displeasure, but he did well not to show it to the crowd. I inched closer to him, closing the space between us until I could feel his shoulders rise and fall with every breath he took. I found his hand and entwined my fingers in his. Usually, we weren't the kind to show public displays of affection, especially at events as big as this one was, but Loki seemed distressed, and this was the least I could do to show him that I knew, and that I was still here. I felt his hand squeeze mine and bit back a small smile. Thor bowed before his father, Odin, swore him in as King of Asgard.

Before the Allfather could finish however, he stopped abruptly, leaving the entire hall in a state of anticipation. I glanced at Lady Sif curiously, she seemed to share my curiosity, and stared up at the Allfather. The air felt heavier, as if everyone could tell something was severely amiss. Odin took in a breath.

"Frost Giants." He said suddenly. All noise vanished from the hall in a mere second. Nervous murmurs began to rise up amongst the people. I gripped Loki's hand tighter, and felt him chuckle next to me. I glanced over, but any proof that he had been laughing was gone, and his face was relaxed, yet serious. Frost Giants in Asgard….how had they gotten in? There was no way they could have made their way in on their own? And how had they gotten passed Heimdall? Unease rose in my stomach, and I leaned into Loki a little more. Something about so much as brushing against him was enough to comfort me for a moment. Only a moment though, before the panic set in again.

The Allfather brought Thor and Loki to investigate the goings on and to see if the Frost Giants were still there. I worried for the three of them, those of Jutonheim were dangerous, and merciless, and I was unsure as to if the three of them had gone down there armed or not. Not that Loki was ever _physically_ armed, what with his magic and his tricks. He never had much use for a weapon of any sorts, as he was no warrior. I didn't mind that though, in my personal opinion, some warriors grow arrogant, they grow reckless, and they grow dim. Battle calls to them at all hours, and they long to meet it head-on. I know Thor is like that at times, but Loki never was.

The door to mine and Loki's chambers opened behind me, and I spun around, nearly tripping over my gown as it circled around my legs like a cyclone. Loki stood in the doorway, an obvious look of distress on his face. "Loki! Are you all right?" I ran over to him, cupping his face in my hands. He smiled slightly, and chuckled as his hands wrapped around my wrists and lead them down, though he did not release my hands.

"I am fine Sigyn, we are all fine." The look he had when he first entered the room had melted away, and was replaced with a very calm, relaxed attitude. It appalled me how he was able to recollect himself so quickly, and so effortlessly.

"And the Frost Giants? What of them? What where they doing here?" His face fell grim, and his hands fell to his sides.

"They were after the casket." He said simply. My breath hitched in my throat at the thought of the Jutons getting their hands on the Casket of Ancient Winters. If the Jutons got their hands on it…they could plunge the nine realms into chaos. Loki began to pace from the door, his hands clasped behind his back, and peered out of the window that overlooked Asgard.

"They do not have it, do they?" I asked, staring at the floor.

"No. Fear not, my love. For they were destroyed before they could escape with it." Loki said. A calm tone overtook his voice, and I let out the breath I was holding. "Though, if we do not feel the wrath of Jutonheim, we will be feeling that of my brother's. He took the whole ordeal rather…personally." I walked over to him, and stood next to him, glancing out of the window that showed the silver-gold buildings of Asgard.

"Well, it is in your brother's nature, after all. He is a protective sort." Loki shrugged and looked down at me. I had always felt so short next to him. He was close to a foot taller than I was, so I was always looking up, and he was always looking down.

"I suppose so." He turned and wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I rested my hands on his chest and peered back out of the window. The sun was going down, and the sky was alight with a beautiful orange color. Loki kept his eyes locked on me. "I should probably talk to him, shouldn't I?" Loki asked suddenly. I turned back to him.

"To Thor? Perhaps it would be best that you do, if he is taking it as personally as you said." Loki nodded and leaned down slightly, brushing his lips against mine gently for a moment, before becoming more forceful. I pulled away, stroking his cheek with my thumb. "Go calm Thor down." I smiled, planting another light kiss on his mouth. He smiled, brushed his knuckles across my cheek, spun on his heel and left in one graceful movement.

Night had fallen over Asgard, the air had grown chill, but it was still pleasant outside. I paced throughout the gardens, my eyes locked on the sky above me, dotted with bright stars. It was quiet out, and the silence was calming and peaceful. I took a breath of the night air. It smelled like the smoke from a lit torch nearby. I stopped and glanced over the wall that lined the outside of the garden balcony, and looked down over it. The water glittered with the city lights, and rippled different shades of yellow. The sound of footsteps suddenly broke the silence.

"Sigyn!" It was Queen Frigga, wife of Odin, and mother of Thor and Loki. She ran over to me, a concerned look in her eyes. "Sigyn, have you seen Thor or Loki?" She asked. My heart squeezed in my chest.

"Not since earlier this afternoon…why? Are they…" I could not force the word "missing" out of my mouth. Frigga took in a breath.

"No one has seen either of them since after the coronation. I worry Sigyn, and I thought you would at least know Loki's whereabouts if anything." Frigga stared at me with pleading eyes. My throat closed, my stomach dropped and my heart felt like it was about to burst.

"I haven't seen Loki for hours. Last I spoke with him, he was going to talk with Thor. Where ever Thor is…Loki's more than likely with him." Frigga nodded.

"We must inform the Allfather. Come with me." She turned briskly on her heel and marched back into the palace. I followed timidly behind her. Loki was missing…Thor was missing.

_Please don't let them be dead._ I thought. _Don't let my Loki be dead._


	2. Entry 2

"And you have _no _ idea where they are?" Frigga exclaimed when the Allfather admitted he knew nothing about his sons' whereabouts, nor of the whereabouts of Lady Sif and the Warrior's Three, who had also gone missing with Thor and Loki.

Odin shook his head solemnly and sighed. My heart squeezed in my chest as worry consumed me. Queen Frigga clenched her fists together and brought her hands to her mouth, closing her eyes. "Did they mention anything about where they were going before the left?" Frigga asked, looking up at her husband. The Allfather stood from his throne and paced down to his wife and I.

"Not in any detail." Odin sighed. "But I think I have an idea as to where they went…" Frigga and I exchanged a nervous glance and Frigga let lose a breath.

"Where?" Frigga asked. I stared at my feet, wringing my hand together.

"Jotunheim." Odin said under his breath, and then marched out of the room.

Odin had been gone for nearly an hour now. Frigga and I sat in the throne room in silence, silently praying that the six of them would return safely. There was no way they did not run into any trouble with the Frost Giants while they were there, especially since it was obvious Thor was looking for a fight. It was his reckless warrior's nature that spoke to him more than his common sense did. I was surprised Loki had gone with him though, throwing himself into the middle of a fight doesn't seem like something he would do.

I took in a breath and rested my head in my hands, my heart hammering so hard in my chest I thought it would burst. I felt Frigga rest a hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you go get some rest Sigyn? I'll send Loki in to you when he returns." Frigga forced a smile, but the anxiety in her eyes was obvious.

"Oh, my Lady I couldn't…" I began.

"Please do." She smiled kindly again and I nodded.

"Thank you, My Lady." I stood and paced out of the room, still wringing my hands together.

I didn't go rest, instead, I paced throughout the palace waiting for Loki. Sometimes, being the Goddess of Devotion has severe downsides. I could hear footsteps coming up quickly and steadily behind me. I turned quickly and stopped as Loki came pacing up the hallway, looking down at his wrist, his brown wrinkled with concern.

"Loki!" I said, my first instinct was to run to him, to hold him and make sure he was okay. My more reasonable side told me not to, and that I was furious with him. The look of relief on my face faded into anger. "Where were you?" I nearly shouted. Loki looked up from his wrist, and at me. His eyes were side. I had never seen him look like that before…and my face fell. "Are you all right?" My voice was quiet as I approached him, as though he was a startled animal. He did not answer me.

"What's wrong with your hand?" I asked, noticing he was holding his wrist.

"What? Nothing, it's nothing. I'm all right, really." I approached him and laid my hands on his shoulders. I felt his hands rest on my lower back.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"Thor was angry, and wanted revenge on the Jotuns…" He began. "We went to Jotunheim and… we fought."

"Is everyone…?"

"Yes, they're all alive. Though, Fandral and Volstagg were wounded. Not fatally though, they're fine." I sighed with relief. I noticed him draw his arm back so he could look at it.

"Are you sure your arm is all right?" I asked, beginning to feel his pain.

"I'm sure." He rested his forehead against mine, and took one of my hands, entwining his fingers in mine. "Though…I worry about the Allfather's decisions."

"What happened?"

"He's thrown Thor into exile…taken his powers away and…" I jumped back in shock.

"What?!"

"Odin called him reckless. He cast him to Midguard, and…" Loki looked away.

"Oh…oh, Loki." I covered my mouth with my hand and reached for him. He moved out of my reach.

"I just need some time to myself right now Sigyn." He said gently. "Leave me be." My heart swelled, and I took a few steps back.

"As you wish. Come find me if you need me…" I turned on my heel, and walked quietly down the corridor, not wanted to turn back and see Loki as pained and confused as he was.

The next few days came and went, but that didn't seem to return Loki to normal, if anything, his sorrow and anxiety only grew. Worry consumed me, yet I was afraid to approach him about it. I did not know how to comfort him in a way that would truly cheer him up. He was solitary, silent, and barely gave anyone a second thought. He did not come to bed at night, and I barely saw him eat. I knew that this had very little to do with his brother, for Odin and Frigga had moved on. There was something else bothering the Trickster, and I was determined to know what it was.

The best bet I had was approaching him about the topic, even if he would not tell me, he needed to know someone was there for him. That night, I found him in the gardens, again, he was alone.

"Loki?" I asked quietly. "Love, are you okay?" Loki turned to me. "Please, I'm worried." Loki looked and the ground.

"There's something wrong with me…" He said quietly.

"What?" I asked, my heart shattering. "What do you mean?"

"Back in Jotunheim, something happened…" He said sadly.

"What happened?" I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"It's not..I'm not…" He shook his head and moved my hands away. "Please Sigyn, I-I need to be alone." He turned and marched out of the gardens. I could feel my eyes burn as he walked away. Something was wrong, something was very wrong.

**A/N- Sorry not much happened in this chapter, but it kind of helps move the story along. The next chapter will be better I promise! Stay tuned…!**


	3. Entry 3

Days had passed and Loki had not been himself. He spent much time in solitude, and that worried me greatly. He never breathed a word of what happened in Jotunheim to me, save for what he had told me about Thor, which hurt greatly. At first, I thought his brother's exile was causing him so much pain and despair, but when I approached him about it, he denied my claim, and said it was something…bigger than that.

And the fact that his father had fallen into Odinsleep in a very trying time. That probably was not helping his mending either. He and Frigga had spent much time by the Allfather's bedside, and Loki's odd state worsened.

I sighed and leaned against the garden wall. The day was warm, but I still felt cold. The breeze blew my hair into my face, but I did not bother to wipe it away. Loki's depressed state, I felt, had become contagious. Even now I could feel his pain. What was so bad…so drastic that he could not tell his own wife about? What had actually happened that day? I had not bothered to ask Sif or the Warrior's Three, considering they probably knew just about as much of this as I did, but I was beginning to consider asking at least one of them.

I heard frantic footsteps behind me; they were loud against the stone floor, and fast. I spun around on my heel, and was face to face with Lady Sif. "Sigyn!" She said, in a loud, urgent voice. "You must try to talk some sense into the Allfather! He's becoming…mad." I furrowed my brow. Was the Allfather awake already? It had only been a few days. And mad? What was Sif talking about?

"What? What do you mean?"

"I think she means, if I may, that the Allfather has become, in a sense, mad with power." Fandral said calmly. I stared blankly at him for a moment.

"Why do you want me to do it?" I asked, scanning over the four of them.

"Because he will listen to you." Sif said desperately. "Try to convince him to allow Thor back into Asgard."

"Why not Frigga?" I asked.

"She is still at Odin's bedside, she will not leave him." Sif said. My jaw hung open.

"Wait, if Odin' s still asleep…" Sif's eyes went wide.

"Sigyn, no one has told you yet?" She asked in disbelief. "Please, go talk to the Allfather." I shot them another confused glance before finally giving in.

"All right. I will go speak with him." I walked down to the throne room by myself. The others left me greatly confused. I threw open the doors to the throne room and walked in. If Odin was still in Odinsleep, than who was…?

I stopped dead in track and thought when I saw who was sitting upon the throne.

"Loki?" I breathed in disbelief. My husband smiled, the gesture in itself held some of his familiar mischief. "You're-you…rule?" I asked. Loki chuckled and stood.

"Isn't it wonderful Sigyn?" He looked like a child who on his birthday, grinning like a maniac.

"I…" I didn't know what to think. I had the fullest faith in Loki, but Sif had said that the power was driving him…mad. Loki's smile faded in an instant when I did not respond.

"Are you not happy for me, my love?" He asked, stepping down the large, golden steps to meet me.

"Of course I am." I said in a reassuring tone. "This is just…sudden, and… no one told me, and I- I…" Loki chuckled again and stroked my cheek with his knuckle.

"But isn't it a wonderful surprise though?" Loki beamed. "Think about it Sigyn! We rule! I am king and you…" He took a few steps back, and gestured to the room around him. "You are a queen!" My jaw hung slightly agape. Queen? Of Asgard? I was a princess, but I could never imagine myself becoming queen…

Nor was I fond of the idea.

But, for Loki's sake, all I could manage was a smile, and tried to act like I truly ecstatic from his news. "A queen?" My voice was trembling. "I-I…don't know what to think." He smiled and came back up to me, planting a quick kiss of my lips.

"I imagine it's something to adjust to, love. No one simply wakes up to discover they're a queen!" Yes, but I never imagined being the last to know my own husband was the king… I smiled again. He turned to return to his throne.

"Loki…" I said quickly, remembering what Sif had asked me to tell Loki. He turned.

"Yes, Sigyn?" I took in a deep breath, unsure as to now Loki would react to my request.

"Does this mean you'll allow Thor back into Asgard now?" His face immediately fell.

"What?" I kept my head held high, trying to avoid showing Loki the fear I felt behind my words.

"Thor, will you let-"

"Yes, yes, I heard you. Sigyn, why would I want to do that?" Loki demanded, quickly pacing his way back over to me.

"Well, he's your brother and…seeing how you're…Allfather now you have the power now…you can bring him back to Asgard." Loki's face was blank.

"Sigyn," He began calmly. "You don't understand, I cannot bring Thor back. I will not disobey the Allfather's last wish and-"

"Why not?" I said suddenly. Loki looked shocked. "Why won't you? Loki, he's your brother…"

"He's not brother of mine…" Loki snarled, his face growing suddenly dark. Ugh! Why did he need to be so stubborn?

"What are you talking about? Of course he is! Loki you're not-" Loki cut me off quickly.

"He is no more my brother than Odin is my father! Or Frigga my mother."

"That's just ridiculous! Of course Odin is…"

"Stop Sigyn." Loki barked. "Just. Stop. Talking." Shocked, I bit my tongue, offense making my blood hot. "I don't want to talk about this right now." He sounded suddenly tired, but the edge in his voice remained.

"I don't understand Loki." I tried to make my voice as gentle as I could manage. But the harder I tried, the more it shook. Loki turned his back to me, and was silent.

"I don't think I do either." Suddenly, the anger was gone, and was replaced with pain. I couldn't stand to see him this way. No matter how stubborn, how selfish he can be, it still hurt to see him in this much pain.

"Loki…" I voice shook, and I knew he could tell. He turned around to face me, and we both stared at each other in silence. "…I'm sorry." He shook his head, and looked suddenly ashamed.

"No…no I- " He took a step forward, but looked hesitant to touch me. "I- I owe you and explanation, don't I?" Loki told me everything. About Jotunheim, about Thor, about his conversation with Odin, about who he really was. All I could do was sit there and listen, my heart shattering more and more with each word he said. When he was done, his face was twisted with sorrow and hatred.

"Loki I- I'm so sorry." I breathed. He shook his head, and immediately, I feared for him. He spat Odin's name like a curse, and Thor's like a lament. Loki's hatred and spite would get the best of him in time, I knew it.


End file.
